The Official Web Site of Pro Wrestling’s “Louisville Slugger"
Posted April 25, 2009
Q.---Is it true Jim drives everywhere and hasn't been on an airplane in more than 5 years?
A.---YES---I never enjoyed air travel to begin with, and after flying across the country and back for almost 20 years, sometimes being on a plane every day for weeks at a time, and after 9/11, I had all I could take. It isn't just a fear of flying, although every time I'm on a plane that leaves the ground I'm shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds. It's a complete disdain and disgust for the entire airport experience, from loss of personal rights and liberty, to rude airport employees, annoying seatmates, lack of control over my own destiny and destination, claustrophobia, lack of patience with stupid people, the entire gamut of misery you encounter when you enter an airport. I have a 2007 Ford Expedition, loaded, that I have put 72,000 miles on in the last 20 months, and not once has an Arab terrorist tried to plant a bomb on it, and I have never made an emergency landing in the Hudson River. I plan a Commentary on air travel in the near future, so watch for it!
Q.---Is JC's standard order at Wendy's really well-known within the sport?
A.---YES---A #3 combo, Triple Cheese with extra cheese, mayo, pickle and onion only, fies and a Sprite. No deviations, variations or excuses. Woe unto the poor soul who tries to put ketchup or mustard on my Triple. On occasion a Homestyle Chicken Sandwich with cheese and mayo only serves as an appetizer, and I consider the periodic revival of the Atlantic Cod fish sandwich the best fast food fish sandwich on the market. After a stressful 12 hour day at a pay-per-view, or to decompress after a confrontation with incompetent people, I have been known to plow through two triples in one sitting, but I don't recommend that for anyone not in serious training for it.
Q.---Is JC a fan of the UFC?
A.---YES---a sport where two distinct or unique personalities are matched against each other, to fight for a championship or big prize or settle a personal issue, hyped on TV, promoted as a big event, held in an arena with thousands of screaming fans rooting for their favorite, that sometimes ends in a controversial decision necessitating a rematch, has been my favorite thing for almost 40 years. I just described professional wrestling. I also just described the UFC, which is now presenting our own business better than we are. The "real" aspect is really the only part of UFC I DON'T care for, as because of that you sometimes end up with boring fights or quick main events, and I wish Dana White would unleash some of these guys to really come out and trash-talk on their promos, but a good UFC fight gives you the same thing pro wrestling did before sports entertainment--exciting matches and screaming crowds living or dieing with the stars' every move. That's why UFC is setting attendance records and kicking WWE's ass on PPV. If UFC retained it's credibility but added wrestling's colorful personalities, it would be the biggest sport in the world. Already, in it's first decade, UFC mirrors some of the same basic fundamentals of pro wrestling when it began developing 100 years ago. IF UFC ever does begin "working", let's see if they take care of THEIR business and protect it better than we did OURS.
Q.---Is it true Jim drives everywhere and hasn't been on an airplane in more than 5 years?
A.---YES---I never enjoyed air travel to begin with, and after flying across the country and back for almost 20 years, sometimes being on a plane every day for weeks at a time, and after 9/11, I had all I could take. It isn't just a fear of flying, although every time I'm on a plane that leaves the ground I'm shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds. It's a complete disdain and disgust for the entire airport experience, from loss of personal rights and liberty, to rude airport employees, annoying seatmates, lack of control over my own destiny and destination, claustrophobia, lack of patience with stupid people, the entire gamut of misery you encounter when you enter an airport. I have a 2007 Ford Expedition, loaded, that I have put 72,000 miles on in the last 20 months, and not once has an Arab terrorist tried to plant a bomb on it, and I have never made an emergency landing in the Hudson River. I plan a Commentary on air travel in the near future, so watch for it!
Q.---Is JC's standard order at Wendy's really well-known within the sport?
A.---YES---A #3 combo, Triple Cheese with extra cheese, mayo, pickle and onion only, fies and a Sprite. No deviations, variations or excuses. Woe unto the poor soul who tries to put ketchup or mustard on my Triple. On occasion a Homestyle Chicken Sandwich with cheese and mayo only serves as an appetizer, and I consider the periodic revival of the Atlantic Cod fish sandwich the best fast food fish sandwich on the market. After a stressful 12 hour day at a pay-per-view, or to decompress after a confrontation with incompetent people, I have been known to plow through two triples in one sitting, but I don't recommend that for anyone not in serious training for it.
Q.---Is JC a fan of the UFC?
A.---YES---a sport where two distinct or unique personalities are matched against each other, to fight for a championship or big prize or settle a personal issue, hyped on TV, promoted as a big event, held in an arena with thousands of screaming fans rooting for their favorite, that sometimes ends in a controversial decision necessitating a rematch, has been my favorite thing for almost 40 years. I just described professional wrestling. I also just described the UFC, which is now presenting our own business better than we are. The "real" aspect is really the only part of UFC I DON'T care for, as because of that you sometimes end up with boring fights or quick main events, and I wish Dana White would unleash some of these guys to really come out and trash-talk on their promos, but a good UFC fight gives you the same thing pro wrestling did before sports entertainment--exciting matches and screaming crowds living or dieing with the stars' every move. That's why UFC is setting attendance records and kicking WWE's ass on PPV. If UFC retained it's credibility but added wrestling's colorful personalities, it would be the biggest sport in the world. Already, in it's first decade, UFC mirrors some of the same basic fundamentals of pro wrestling when it began developing 100 years ago. IF UFC ever does begin "working", let's see if they take care of THEIR business and protect it better than we did OURS.